Father Mourning

I remember the day we buried his father
how he cried and couldn’t speak
or look anyone in the eye
looked my age suddenly
I remember how the dirt felt
sliding from fingers to coffin
a bright meaningless sun followed us that day
a few weeks later we would walk to his brother’s grave
Dad clutched Mom’s hand
like there was nothing else
like letting go
would be getting lost in a department store in a strange town
a little limpet of hope
in public contrast he’s bravado
el jefe plans for expansion
a mile a second to outpace
any stillness between heartbeats
if he slows down
he might remember standing over graves